Trying To Write Eveverything

Hello everybody :)
It has been soooo long that i did not update anything. actually i did want update this blog, but because i have a lot to shares about so that when i've written the beginning sentences, i'm starting to be confuse what i should prefer to be write on.

Ehem, well, last Sunday as usual i went for church and after church i'll go with my church friends. usually i always be with my one team connect group after church, but for that day, i chose to be with Felixe. i rarely able to have time with her as our time never match well after church. usually i was the one that is busy *i'm really apologize of it*

The story we knew each other was kinda strange. some years ago, i always saw her at church. and i know that she is methodist-3 student as i'm the ex of that school. so it's like i know her face, where's her school, & she's the same church with me.

As time has past, i've moved to methodist-2 and have been a youth  member. one day, youth team would like to do a retreat for youth members only. right at the last day of registering for retreat, i suddenly remembered of her and i asked her pin's from my best friend, Vivian Tristan.

Well, i told her in the morning after midnight at around 1 by bbm. hmm, she replied me but when i was trying to invite her, she has fallen sleep. And actually i'm kinda worried, because i'm someone who's scared to ask or invite someone to somewhere they actually dislike to go.

But finally, in the early morning she replied me and told me that she wanted to join and she would come to church later. I was extremely happy as she was the first person who i successfully invited! Then the retreat started. it was 3days 2nights at Gelora Kasih.

Honestly, i was really busy at that time because i was servicing a lot there so i have not so much time to be with her. Hopefully, she was the member of GMS before so that she could be together with the people she knew there. Could you imagine? i was the one who invited and i was busy with all my stuffs and having no time to company her.

And the shocked thingy that I saw is she let herself to be baptize and i was extremely happy of it. I have never thought that God gave me this great big things. it's like i couldn't shut my mouth and just let it open like i've just met my idol star.

But what i was worried about is will she withdraw from God again?

And what a surprising thing is she's really a strong person in God now and she's now more than me. I mean, she grows better than me. I'm glad of her and at that last Sunday, she told me of her problems. i really felt not feasible to be as i am today. i don't really being thankful as much as her. i learn from her and i want her to keep strong as today and even better.

This feeling wants to cry, but i couldn't. i'm hardly to cry. she has been so mature and maturer. i couldn't tell you how much happy do i have for her. and what i could do is only keep praying for her and supports her and also being someone who will always be there for her.

God did not waste my prayer. I love and thanked Him so much.

and here it is. me and felixe.

 

I Wish You Better

Hey there!
How's your life has been doing on?
Well, I would tell you about someone that -as usual- I care with.
For your information, I'm a person who loves to care about people. So don't get surprise when I'm saying some words that's actually should be say if that person is my close friend.

Hmm, last days was someone birthday. Let's call that person as Z.
I am not Z's close firends or any relations. Both of us are just only "I know you and you know me".
HAPPY BIRTHDAY to you Z!
Maybe some people that read this will know who I'm talking about. Because I'm gonna tell you about Z.

Z is someone who has done so much experience for the company that he was trusted to handle. I amazed of Z, honestly, and I do really respect Z. Z is a busy person that I know it's impossible to have a lot of chats or even a little chats with Z. Z has a lot of things to do as Z also has a big responsibility of that company to make it success. Truthfully, the company success so much 'till now and even the customers are getting more and more everyday. I've ever done some outs with Z for only some times, and Z told the story how the company began. I'm being more amazed with Z about Z's defense that the company could be until now. Alright, I won't tell you how much amazed I'm because this post even won't be enough to tell you how amazed I am.

Hmm, well, I am amazed with Z, so Z was my some of inspirations. I really respect Z. I've never try to always chat Z in order to not disturb Z with more chats on his BBM chats. And everytime when I wanna chat Z, my firstly question to Z is always "are you busy now?" and if Z says "yes" then I'll reply "alright, will chat you next time". I really really dislike to disturb people while that person is actually has a lot of things to be done. That's why, I tell you, I really respect Z.

But then, one thing that I was sad on. I know, no one is perfect. But for me, this one attitude of Z is not something "unperfect". Z do not need to behave as this attitude. But then, of course I won't tell Z about this. And if Z read this too, let Z has the own decision. Well, I know Z has been so rarely of doing this attitude, but that rarely still mean "you did it". Z will be doing this attitude only if Z is on really so stress condition. But then, stress condition no need to vent it by take something from a box, put some gas of it, and enjoy it. For me it's NO NEED! There are a lot of ways to vent our stress. As someone who earns a lot of money, you could spend some of your money by refreshing in the cafe or for someone who don't earn much money you could vent your stress by doodling on a piece of paper, buy DVDs and watch it, sleep, play some games, and any other else.

For me, the choice that Z take to vent the stresses is a really bad thing. And also, Z is my inspiration. Kind of disappointed and sad of that attitude. Well, sorry if I write like so egoist person and writing like someone who is really near to you, Z. But then, for me it should be fine if I express my opinion. And also it should be fine if I care with people even with the one I'm not close with. And though Z has some habits that I dislike, but still Z gives a lot of inspiration. I learn from his life's journey. Not his habits. So, I will just be informed of it and taking a positive think of it.

Well, that's all. Sorry if I have done any mistakes in this post. And sorry if I write not good words and sentences. See ya everyone some day! Muah!

Work Day on Holidays

Morning fellas!
Never thought I will update my blog in the morning. I rarely did that. Hahaha.
Last Thursday, last Friday (yesterday), and today (Saturday), I am having my holiday where I my body and mind still work as usual. I mean, though I am now on holiday, but I don't feel like holiday. But I feel like working.

Thursday was the day where I went to school to decorate the stand for Gebyar Pendidikan which I am the committee and also person who participate in the organization. That was the most tired ones where I started being there at around 8 in the morning until around 7 p.m. You couldn't able to really imagine how am I so tired at that time and being someone who responsible of it.

On Friday, should be at school for Gebyar Pendidikan but then I didn't because far away before Gebyar Pendidikan's plan, I've booked that day for One Stop AOG Youth from morning to night. That time I was tired too but not as like on Thursday. I served God and God served me more. I really felt His big presence and I really love the atmosphere! Ah! It was tiring but I got something so great! I couldn't told you about that. You should feel it by yourself. I was being almost cry when I saw my leader when she was speaking in tongues. Ckckck. Can you imagine it? Whoaa. Jesus is great! I love him! Thanks to Ko Abok for teaching me to use church's multimedia stuffs, Ko Jovi for helping me from the first 'til the end, Ko Franky who being as God servant at the area where he should not be in that servant, and everyone who supports me and being so great in my life.

So, here is the last day of my tiring day! Today went to school for Gebyar Pendidikan. I ate my first food at around 12 when I've arrived at school. And my second food was just now, at around 10. It was very dizzy day today. But still I thanked God for today's successful plan! Thanks God!

So now I should sleep! Byeeeee. God bless :*

SORRY

In this entry, I would like to say sorry to some people:
#Jesus
sorry for being so not good person that You've created. Never stop making sins but then You've never stop give me more blesses.

#pama
sorry, I'm not a good kid as the other kids that you keep praising. But I will show you that your efforts will be paid by my own self!

#siblings
sorry if I have done too much faults and being so egoist to all of you

#ex-teachers
I knew, I was a bad one before. So emotional person. And sorry for my brash at the time you were teaching me.

#viviantristan, ines, gilvanijurice, fionaroesli
thanks for being my lovely best friends who I have in the same class. The one year of moments won't be forgotten easily by me. Though we have separated and we're just like usual friends now or even we're just like stranger now, but I won't forget the moments that I have before I really left Methodist-3 :) btw, sorry for the moment that we have so not important problem

#yuwendrathiomas, budiandaltanamal
thanks guys for helping me to make me and viviantristan to be one again when we were in problem. And sorry, for being not good classmates to you

#bususy
sorry miss for being the worst student for you. I've changed now 180 degree from my past :)

#zesselynkhoman
thanks for being my first friend at Prime One :) and sorry I was being so not good at the early days we met

#fernandagabriellehutapea
thanks for being so cool person and good friend to me from the first 'till the last year at POS. And I also appreciated what you've done when we were E6. And I wished you to live in God more. Not living in not good world. And sorry for the habits and words not good that I said to you

#ivyicasia
sorry for kept being a not good friend since I've moved to POS 'til I'm out from there. And maybe 'til now. Idk why was I being so mad with you with no reason. Idk if I was envy or really so mad. But as you know, I've failed so many times to be your friend as you hardly to open your heart to welcome me as a not good friend. And a big sorry for physical things I've done to you

#bellatheja
sorry for giving you physical resistance before and being not trusting you.

#evelynwongso
sorry for my mistakes before until you hated me so much. At the first day I sat with you, I wished to be able to be your best friend. But the fact said no.

#venzyvinnesia
I know, you are a person who easily to forgive and never care about other's problem. Sorry if I've done something wrong to you that you were so mad to me when we were in JH3. I was still looking for the reason why you were angry at that time, but then I think you didn't want to tell me by telling me that you've never hated me. I wished you to be my best friend as we are easily to be together, but then we would never be like that as you have the loveliest best friend out there.

#viviyolanda
sorry for ever making you mad when we were JH3.

#aflianialiansyah
sorry for always making you mad at me because I always do a lot of "shouldn't be said" words.

#ronnysahputra
sorry for I'm not accepting you nicely.

#davidlionardi
sorry, I couldn't be a good best friend that could tell you a lot of jokes and always making a fake smile when you are talking.

#venny
sorry, as I am hardly to talk a lot of things as best friend.

#fransiscanovia
sorry, i couldn't be a good best friend to you. I'm really sorry for being never chat with you :(

#jenifferwilly
sorry, I called you as my best friend but never shares with you. But then, I love the presence you gave me always.

#ciwenny, cirolyta, ciella
sorry for not being a good person to you. And I wished all of you didn't misunderstood about what I've done before. I hope you understand me.

#korobby
sorry for being sensitive to you. But I think you will understand why I'm being like that to you

#m2cmembers
sorry for not being so fully responsible of this organization. Will do better!

#osisandthebuilder
sorry I was not really work hard for this organization. But I wish to be able to do more.

#koyono
sorry for not being a good person to you and not accompany you when I went home to Medan.

#peoplewhoishouldfollowup
sorry, I've never bring you all and explained to you all about God. Sorry, I'm not good in talking

#viviatmaja
sorry for being a not good friend at the early time we became friend. Sorry for being mad with you.

#fumikosugawara, jessicahariwijaya
sorry for not able to be a good best friend to you. honestly, i feel like i am really a disturber of both of your friendships. I feel like I am a destroyer to both of you. You too have a really best quality time together while i have nothing good quality to both of you. I just wish both of you to grow maturer.

This Will Not Be The End, But We Will Be Forever

Well, I'll tell you the happening on 18th March 2012, Sunday.

Waking up so late at around 11.
Still on the bed with opened eyes.
Going to level 2 to have my breakfast.
Planned to write letter after eating to Fumiko, but then I forgot.
Opened the computer, but after hearing the sound of people closing the lowest floor's door, I knew it was my dad and with fast I closed the computer again and directly took the towel to take a bath.
Hasn't entered the bath room, but then reading novel.
And finally took my bath.
Then going to Sun Plaza to have my AOG service.
Actually I should go to david and venny place's first to gather together but I canceled it due to having more important thing to do.
After arrived Sun Plaza, directly looked for my cousin to take my laptop at Fountain.
Going to church's Multimedia's room to transfer the photos of KKR Sekolah.
Then entered the main hall of church to have the AOG service there and sitting with venny.
Sorry to fumiko, because I didn't and really refused to go to open house due to my trauma.
Church has ended.
Accompanying stashia to go to Multimedia's room to met ko abok and also taking my laptop and camera.
Went to the main hall to have briefing of upcoming AOG event "ONE STOP AOG".
After everything finished, people asking me where to go and I answered I need to go an important place.
They told me we have "menado" but I told them will come there as soon as possible.
I was looking for a place to freely write my late letter.
I chose KFC.
When I finally arrived there, I found out a lot of people I knew were there and even my families.
Ordering Oriental Bento, Mocha Float, and two meatballs.
Trying to eat and at the same time writing a letter to Fumiko.
Someone idk came and talked to me about their program to help people who could not have any education to help them.
Additional my cousin and sister came to my place for some minutes.
So I won't freely write the letter.
My cousin and sister have gone home, but the stranger hasn't.
And finally the stranger asked permission to take off.
And I continued writing with a lot of people looking at me.
I guessed, people around me knew that I was writing a letter.
Because I felt so disturbed by people looking at me and the time is not friendly, I finally took off from KFC and went out from Sun Plaza.
Directly went to the nearest pedicab.
The pedicab was so annoying asking for a lot of amount of money.
I wrote my last sentence in the pedicab though I actually wanted to write more.
After arrived, the pedicab asking me twenty thousand for filling the oil.
And i only wanted to gave fifteen thousand only.
But then he forced me and i didn't have much time to argue with him.
And actually from Sun Plaza to Polonia is needing ten thousand only as I have measure then time.
The pedicab was so annoyingggg! And it made my emotional higher and higher.
With stressful face and some loss because of the pedicab, with fast I ran to the airport.
I called fumiko where was she and she was talking so mad with me.
I was getting more emotional at that time talking to her on the phone.
Got in to a wrong room, it's a place where people just arrived at Medan.
Then went to the international entrance and met Jessica there.
Both of us were so afraid of not able to give to fumiko the stuffs we have prepared.
We called and called.
And finally, the right place is so far from the place we were at that time.
The distance was around like Medan Mall to Methodist-2.
It should be quite near for me.
But because of the hot place, emotional feeling, afraid of not able to meet her, and I should run again, the distance was like from Sun Plaza to J.W. Marriott.
After arrived there, finally met her.
Jessica gave to fumiko the stuffs and I directly put my letter inside jessica's gift to her.
Yes, jessica gave her many things.
And i only gave an angpao that actually a letter inside.
Fumiko and her mom told us that the plane was delayed and we were better to stay until they will really flight.
So i told them i couldn't because i promised the pedicab will go home by him again.
But then they said i better to stay.
So i finally said okay and telling them i should go out for a moment to tell the pedicab.
I planned to walk and ignoring a motorcycle man to go outside.
But then, in the case of the time, i finally asked him to bring me to that pedicab's place.
Spinning for about 3 times but then I didn't able to find him.
Then going back to the domestic entrance and i saw fumiko with her family and jessica were waiting for me.
Fumiko's mom bought for us to have some rest in J.W lounge.
Inside there, her mom giving me twenty thousand for my pedicab cost and idk what to say again of her treating while she was in medan.
There, we ate foods, drank some drinks, taking a lot of photos, and talked some other things.
I also used the computer there and do update in my blog.
And as we didn't realize the time, suddenly the time has come to flight.
Jessica and fumiko were crying and i am not.
I couldn't cry because i have ready to let her go for her goodness.
And then me and jessica looked for her dad's car.
Her dad picked me home and reminded me if we want to do something, just ask him to pick me up, don't go for any pedicab again.
I finally arrived at my cousin's house and said thanks and directly went home.
On the way to go home, my dad said something that he has just realized.
"Why your best friends are all so far away from you?"
And it's really true as I don't have a good chance to meet them.
Arriving home, opened laptop.
Uploading all photos and blogging.
And i should sleep now.
My mom has get angry to me.
If i don't shut down it now, i will sure get another hit again from her.
Bye.
Thanks for reading.
Be good there fumiko.
We will meet someday.
I have ready to let you go and don't want to really cry as we are not really separate.
And thanks to her mom for the days too.
And also her advice.
"Though you are separate now, but you still have to keep in contact".
"And if you are going to married, I will surely come to your wedding party"
And thanks to ryu for giving me some silly habits that actually made me laugh.
Night.
God bless.
I love you.

What a Finally

Finally I could do the thing that I want.
Thanks God for giving me the chance to do the thing that I really want to do.

Yesterday, having KKR sekolah for Methodist-2 and Sutomo-1 at Mikroskil from 2 to 4.
It was so great that God still gave so many miracles around me.
After the KKR has done, I wish to go home earlier because I should have my bath and also washing my hair, then blow and babylist my hair, and also charge my phone and camera battery because I should come to my classmate's birthday party at 6 o'clock becaue I was the one who will take photos of her party. And that time, I followed my cousin to go home due to save the money. So I asked her wether she has called her parents to pick us or not. She said yes and I was about so happy because I couldn't wait anymore to do the things I have mentioned above.
So I thought that we will go home earlier but then the fact, we were the one who go home at last.
When we were waiting but still hasn't arrived yet, I was so concerned that I couldn't do the thing I would like to do because it has been 5.30 but we haven't being pick up. My face was so pale. I wish to cry but I try to hold on and keep saying inside my mind that they will come around 3 or 5 minutes more. But then at last they arrived at 5.45 if I wasn't wrong and I feel so relieved but still keep concerning that I couldn't be on time.
While on the way to my cousin's house, because I couldn't hold anymore, I cried in the car. When my aunt and uncle has known what has happened, my aunt said a really bad thing to me and it made me cry louder. I cried louder not because of feeling hurt of that word. But then I felt that why she should be like that. Why didn't she just entertain me so that I won't be so worried about it anymore and everything will be okay. But then she kept saying it and it made me cry louder and louder again. I tried to not cry anymore but then she kept saying it and I was so mad about it. She is just like my mom. Like to say bad thing when they are mad and they said that is for our own good and if we don't be quite, they will bully us by saying a hurter word to people. And I really dislike that kind of behaviour, honestly. All of my mom's siblings were like that. They always say a bad thing when they are going mad. And I really wish to not be like them. It really hurts people around. I hate that kind of behaviour.
Next, then I kept crying and it's around 30 minutes crying because my aunt kept saying that word and plus my younger aunt also said a so bad thing after I arrived at my aunt's house.

But then, finally, after I have arrived to the party, I kept smiling becuase the people around me kept making me smile and smile and also because it was my classmates's great day, I shouldn't be sad there moreover I was so busy to captured so many things there. There, I sat with only some people that I know but then they weren't a really closed friends of mine. At that time, my friend who I used to be so close hasn't come yet. At that time, I planned to sit with my close friends if they have arrived, but then, after they have come, it was impossible to left my other friend just like that. So I canceled my plan and kept sitting there. And it was so fun! I made little jokes there and they were happy. I'm so happy to saw that. At least, if they were happy, I'm happy too.

Thanks God, You still gave me a good day. I am so thankful of it. And one more thing. I was crying of the reason because I didn't want to destroy my friend's great day.

A Week Holiday

Yeay! I got holiday from Monday to Monday and it means 8 days of holiday!
So happy and started to plan many activities to be done. But yet, as usually, I will never able to finish them all.
Planned to have some walks with Fumiko and Jessica and it happened.
Planned to go BPK - Babi Panggang Karo with some of my classmates, it was cancelled due to hard time and transportation. So we changed it by karaoke-ing and it was cancelled because Silbo was lazy to go. Then last, finally today having some outs at Merdeka Walk with them and before that, I went to my cousin's friend house with my cousin to go for photo shoot. It was a so tired one today. Standing under sun all the time.
Plan to finish reading the two books I borrowed in this week holiday, and I wasn't able to do it.
Plan to study Biology and Chemistry, but then I just bring my Biology notes and never study once.
Plan to have done all of the stuffs I would like to have done, but it's like, I couldn't.

That's it.
Though not everything I have done so well, but I keep do enjoy the days I had.
And the things which made me so mad and stress 'till now is the preparation of Gebyar Pendidikan on 23th-24th March. No one help. And no one ask for the condition. Only some of them did it. So what should I do with it? Should I be like the others too who didn't have any responsibility to do it or keep being responsible?
Of course keep being responsible.
But then, the thing that made me crazier is we always changed the planned and I am about so shame with the person where we will buy the stuffs with. And I think the seller is so freaking crazy to reply my text anymore. I'm kind like "OH GOD, PLEASE HELP ME", but nothing happens by the time is closer to the event. A big STRESS of it.
Well, I'm done here. Will do other entries next time.

Welcome Home, Fum!

Fumiko has come to Medan since Monday, on 5th March. Nice to know that she finally came here to have some meets again. Oh no, I miss her so much. She's getting fatter and her face is more cheerful than before. And even she has now being closer to her mom and brother :D
Welcome back to Medan, Fum. So sorry if I couldn't accompany you all the days. Hihihi.
Honestly, lots of happenings I would like to tell you. But then, when I've met you, I think you have more to be ask and tell. So will just look for one day to tell you about what has happened :)
Wish you will be here for a long days, hahahaha.